Matthieu

So I met Matthieu through adopte. He seemed nice enough and looked really cute in his pictures (they were absolutely photoshopped or instagrammed or whatever it is people do to make themselves look beautiful). His profile said quite simply that he was an interesting and curious. I was quick to say yes to a date, although in retrospect I should have remarked how he was a bit overeager.

We met at the Pop In, a bar near Republique (or so I thought).

He had insisted on meeting at a pub, an idea that I myself was not too keen on. I had no desire whatsoever to sit inside a sticky pub in the steamy summer heat but I have noticed that some boys get a little ego boost when they pick the place. I noticed that Adopte has a female dominating theme, which is what pleased me about the site (later on Matthieu tells me that this is what he doesn't like).


I showed up late (30 mins, a new record) and the moment that I saw him I was a little disappointed to be honest...

What we Love about Matthieu

Let's start with a few positives.

He spoke to me in French (and he asked me very politely which I would prefer!) and he drank his beer slowly.

He never took out his cellphone (and also mentioned eagerly that he was pleased to see on my profile "no Smartphone addicts").

We started off with a smooth conversation about his "lack of television", (which was really a lack of a cable box).

Then the downhill landslide happens when I tell him that no, if you have a television screen then you still have a TV, silly boy.

um..let's just be frank and talk about

Why Matthieu sucks

He tells me that he gets  enragé when others use their cell phones around him and that he does not hestitate to tell someone off for doing so. This was my first indication of a slight anger problem.

Then, per usual, we start talking about the wonders of French cuisine. Unavoidable here is my mention of my abstention from meat. He immediately remarks that he does not know any vegetarians and that he doesn't understand the concept. I really can't stand when dates began to tick off facts against vegetarianism.

"We were born with canines to tear into flesh, we need meet to live, animals do not have the same kind of intelligence than humans, and worst: plants have feelings too!" Oh and then there's the.. "You know...there was this study done.." It's all the same, even in French, but almost a bit worse as meat takes a very big place in most French men's hearts. Understandable, as the quality of meat is very good, but still not my tasse de thé.

On top of this, he is shocked when I tell him that I don't like hamburgers, coca cola, typically delicious and nutritious Americana food. He says something along the lines of "So, you are not a américaine typique"

The date could have still went okay if he had not proceeded to talk about the exquiste taste of charred flesh that I am missing out on, his favorite type of meat, killing deer at his family's home so they could eat it after etc.

Stuff really started to go downhill when we left the first pub and went to the second which was 50 degrees (Fahrenheit) hotter than outdoors and full of boys playing World of War. I guess it's a new themed bar, a "Geek Bar". WoW was being projected on the walls.

He was a bit smaller than I am, something that I am not fond of. Now, this wouldn't matter if he had been a boy, girl, whatever. It's not the idea of having a big man that pleases me, I just need a lover that is bigger than me to feel more confident about myself. I didn't think he was a "little man" and that he couldn't "protect me". I just did not want my thighs to be larger than his.

Then, he tells me that he thinks his job is worthless. 

Although I am being a bit cold, he is still too touchy. This is normal with French guys. A hand on the small of the back, a touch on the hand, a hand on the thigh... all behaviors that eventually lead up to him asking you to fuck. Except in French its "making love".  Matthieu first asked me if I could be his "sex friend". And about 10-15 minutes into the date! In retrospect, I think the cold shoulder method is not an efficacious way to let a man know that he you are not on the same wave length.

I've heard that French girls (the Parisian ones mostly) are generally cold and like to prendre la tête. Perhaps this is why Frenchmen get right to the point. I also think that this is why, up until this point, I have had a tendancy to give a wrong impression with my relentless flirting, giggles, compliments. Not the right approach at all for these horndogs, or so it seems. 

So in the end, my method of rejection is quite simple: I lie and say I am addicted to drugs, a 7day a week boozer, that I have paranoia, insomnia problems, a blog in which I demoralize men after having dated them...

After prying myself out of Matthieu's grasp, I went home and deactivated my Adopte account. Rash, I know. But that's how I make most decisions.

So far, I have not been back on the site.